The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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