you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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