I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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