you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
