Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I enjoy the company of your penis
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
