So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
