why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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