ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
