If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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