About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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