so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
