Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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