community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I could make wine with my vomit
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
