reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
