but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
