Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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