i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
