Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
