my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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