oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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