if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
