the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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