I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
