Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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