I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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