Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's the barista slut.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
