i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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