I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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