my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
