Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
