I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
