these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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