I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
