i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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