how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
