Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
