I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
