if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
