Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
