He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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