it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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