well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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