Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
