I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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