if only i could text you this smell
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
