i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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