Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
