Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
