Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
