I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
3pm strippers are depressing
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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